Monday, 4 December 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Handwriting analysis

We have been discussing what good handwriting is and so Aarav has been analysing everyone's handwriting...

At the diner today as I gave the dinner order, Aarav peeped into the waiter's order book and immediately exclaimed - LOUDLY,

"Mom, he's got really bad handwriting. It's all wavy and crooked. Just like how you said I should not have."

Dude!!! Some restraint???

I am now posting this while sitting under the table.

#Aaravisms
#Mortified
#WherestheBloodyMuteButton
#NeverEatingAtThatDinerAgain

Saturday, 21 October 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Diwali Bomb Pretzels!

Ok, so this year we were in no mood to get any firecrackers but Aarav wanted them as allllllll his friends had them. So we bought a few of the usual kiddy sort and then Aarav puffed up and said, he'd like a few bombs as well.
"Uh huh, you will be scared"

But he didn't.

Every time Kaustubh lit up the Lakshmi bomb, I'd be drilling my finger into my ears and blinking rapidly and crouching up the imaginary shell on my back and he would just stand there and stare at the bomb cracker go off.

Honestly, I expected him to be petrified, with the sudden noise in the cochlear implants, "How do you not get scared???!!!"

And...  He just laughed and said, "I just don't hear it."

Me, "That's not possible. It's soo loud!!"

And Aarav grinned, "I pull off my implants till the bomb goes off and put them on later!!!"

So basically, he just got the bombs to turn me into a pretzel.. :-O

Lol
#Aaravisms
#CochlearImplants
#SnarkyKid

Monday, 28 August 2017

Aaravisms-Boys will be boys

"Aarav, keep that textbook down and go switch off all lights!!" I yelled as he ran to his room. On his way back out of the darkness, he stubbed his toe and cried out in pain after which I took the opportunity to explain to him that importance of keeping the room clean.

"So you see Aarav, if you take care of your things, your room will remain clean."
Aarav watched solomnly and nodded in agreement.

"So.... What did we learn today?"

Aarav, "Science lesson 5 spellings."

Aah. Duh. Boys. Facepalm.
Please go stub your toe again and I'll just say 'there there' and that's it.

#Aaravisms

Aaravisms-Multilingual skills

During dinner.
Aarav, "Aai, you know all words?"
Me, puffing up a bit, "Yes. Of course. Ask anything!"

Aarav, "ok. What is 'book' called in Marathi?"
Me, "Pustak"

Aarav, "In Hindi?"
Me, "Kitab"

Aarav, "Kanada?"
Me, "Aarav, don't talk during dinner."

#Aaravisms
#SmugSnarkyKid

Thursday, 27 July 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Office life is easy..

Aarav stood looking out the window in a very pensive mood and said to me,
"Tumhala khoop simple asta."
(You guys have it simple)

"Kay?" I asked.
(What?)

"Office."

"Ka?"
(Why?)

"Tumhala writing nasta." and then he pretended to sit with a laptop, "Nustach asa asa typing kela ki zhaaaala.. kahi writing nasta."
(You don't have to write anything.. only typing on the keyboard.. that's all. Noo writing at all.)

"Mag tumcha difficult asta Ka?"
(So you have it difficult?)

"Ho."
(Yes)

"Ka?"

"Amhala khoop writing asta na. Ani ghari ala ki tu parat writing dete."
(We have to write a lot. And when I am back home you make me write again.)

The entire dialogue was in the theme of "oh the attrocities and tragedies of my life"

Let's switch kiddo. Seriously. Let's switch!!

#Aaravisms

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Little cold Nudist..

In the midst of 17 extremely important morning tasks, aarav screamed, "Aaaaiiii​" and I ignored it and continued.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAIIIIII"
When I ran to see him in the other room, he was just out of the bath, dripping wet and holding the folded towel as a offering for me with big puppy eyes, "I am cold. Wipe me." Of course you are you silly wet nudist.

"Wipe meeeeee!!!" And so I did..

I wrapped him in the towel and vigorously rubbed him down giving special time to the dirt collecting spoons attached to his head commonly called as ears.
I rubbed and cleaned and scrubbed and wiped and scrubbed them in and out, holding his head in one hand and then alternating the action till....

"THAMB!!! Fadaychet ka mazhe kaan??"
("STOP!! You planning to tear my ears off or what!!!???")

Giggles! Ok sorry. I probably was a bit too rough 😝😝

Happiness is??
Small silly joys of life :-)

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Toddler vs Father - My Father's a Lion!!

Aarav likes to take reverse KTs frequently. This was one of the amusing ones when Kaustubh, Aarav and I were just about to call it a night.

Aarav, "Baba, king of the animals kon ahe?"
(Dad, who is the king of animals?)

Jui, "Aarav, Lion ahe. Tula mahitie na?"
(Aarav, It's a lion, don't you know this?)

Aarav dismissed me, "Nahi. Tu thamb. Baba sang, king of animals kon ahe?"
(No. You wait. Dad, you tell, who is the king of animals?)

Kaustubh obviously was not going to give a straight answer if he was being put through a test, "Mi ahe"
(It's me. I'm the king of animals.)

Aarav smirked and taunted, "Mag Tu ja ki janglat rahayla."
(Well then, Don't you belong in a Jungle?)

Happiness is??

I think this was the loudest unladylike snort of laughter I have had in ages.

Monday, 19 June 2017

2nd grade started!!!

Last week Aarav's school started again. Fresh new year and he is now the second grade.

This year the school curriculum changed from following the SSC pattern to CBSE pattern. In layman terms the syllabus expected for a SSC kid in the 4th year is what we have in the 2nd year. CBSE also has three languages with equal weight age for each. Yay !! (As sarcastically as I can muster)

However, on the school orientation meeting we were given a pleasant  surprise. The newest additional language apart from English, Marathi which is 'Hindi' will not be taken directly as if the kid has prior experience. It will be gradually introduced and the kids will not be burdened.

Now, if we want, we can avail an exception and all that.. but we don't want to. Especially because there is no point in pulling him out especially as he has the capability and interest in learning Hindi. He's even trying out hindi sentences. Of course, he makes no sense but he tries a lot. He believes no one will be given any leniency at all as his entire class is growing up and becoming 'big'..
So then be it :-)

Let's see.. The start is pretty positive. Hoping the journey this year too will be fruitful.

Happiness is??
Ab hum Hindi bhi seekhenge!!
Now we will learn Hindi!!

Toddler vs Father - Reprimanding your adults!

Kaustubh and I have the same mobile. And it's a tiny sleek thing which is pretty slippery to handle.
So we went to this mobile shop to get a silicone mobile cover to put on the mobile.

Only I bought the mobile cover.. Kaustubh didn't.

Aarav, "Aai cover ka paije?"
(Mom, why do you need this cover?)

I replied, "Cover ghatla ki mobile safe rahato. Padat nahi. Tutat nahi."
(The cover keeps the mobile safe. It won't fall. It won't break.)

Aarav thought for a minute and turned to Kaustubh, "Tu ka nahi ghetla cover? Jar tuzha mobile tutla tar mi Tula gheun nahi denare navin mobile."
(Why didn't you buy a cover? If your mobile breaks, I will not buy you a new one.)

Kaustubh was speechless and I was guffawing away!!

This sentence, from a 6.5 year old, to his father was monumentally hilarious!!!

Happiness is?
I'm proud that the boy is so smart!!!

I am secretly also happy that I won't need to nag anymore!! Lol!!

Sunday, 11 June 2017

Toddler vs Father - Doeth the Superman Fly?

Kaustubh was wearing a black T-shirt with the Superman logo on the chest. 

Aarav, "Tu kay Superman ahes ka?"
(You think you are Superman?)

Kaustubh just grinned.

Aarav then took the typical Superman pose with one hand in the sky and shouted at Kaustubh, "Superman!! ..... Supermaan!!!"

And then he looked at Kaustubh and sarcastically said, "are udd ki Superman!!"
(Come on fly! you Superman!)

Lol!!

Happiness is?
The kid pulls our legs too!!

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Booking more humans

Of all the absurd discussions, this one take the podium. A few days earlier we saw the  movie "Boss baby". The idea is very good of having babies made in factories in heaven and then shipped down to parents. Good concept but elicited more questions than answers. Aarav also knows that a pregnant fat lady is actually carrying a baby.

So he basically now believes, that the baby factory ships a baby right into Mommy's tummy. Don't ask me how he knows this!!! He had collected bits and pieces of information over years and come to this conclusion. 

Aarav, "Aai tu ekach human ka ghetla"
(Mom, why did you take just one human)

Me, "eh?? Mhanje?"
(What do you mean?)

Aarav, "Aga tu ekach ka human magitlas? Don ka nahi magitle?"
(Why did you ask for just one human.. Why not two?)

Me, "Human magitla mhanje??"
(What do you mean by ask for a human?)

Aarav, "Mhanje mi! Ekta mala ka magitlas. Ajun ek extra human ka nahi magitlas bappa la. Aplya kade baby ala asta na."
(Means me! Why did you ask for me only.. Why did you not ask for an extra human in this house. Then there would be a baby sent here right?)

Aah.. The famous baby topic.

Kaustubh, "Asa magun nahi kahi human det. Bappa decide karto ki ek ka don."
(You can't ask for a human. God decides if one or two. We can decide or ask.)

Aarav, "Ho ka?"
(Really, is it.)
And now he is contemplating on this. And I am sweating buckets.

I'm sure there will be more queries on this. But more and more googlies are being thrown and its a task to stay up to speed with his questions :-)

Happiness is?
Amusing scary questions.

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Toddler vs Mother - Marriage counselling...

The only reason why I don't blog nowadays is that I have way too much content to blog and a very pathetic memory recall. So I found my mobile to write this blog 3.25 seconds after the fateful discussion, hence it is here..

K, Aarav and I were packing up for sleep as this discussion started. As I picked up the nail cutter and started cutting Aarav's nails, he asked a very deep and meaningful question, "Aai mi motha zhalo ki Doctor honare, Tu mothi zhalya var Kay honares?"
(Mom, I will be a doctor when I grow up. What do you want to become when you grow up?)

I felt giddy as still not being considered 'motthi' ie an elder or old and very joyfully replied, "Mi Software engineer zhale re..ani Mi already mothi ahe ata..."
(I am a Software engineer.. And I am already an grown up)

"Ho ka?" Aarav replied and after a quick thought confirmed that my status as an elder was acceptable, "Accha."
(Really? Ok)

He was still not satisfied so far though.. "Ani baba? Baba kay zhale motha zhale ki?"
(And dad? What he become when he grew up?)

"Baba pan software engineer zhale re.."
(Dad is also a software engineer)

"Accha." One could see the wheels in his tiny confused head were whirring off at 2000/rpm and he then asked to confirm his suspicion, "Mhanun tumhi doghanni lagna kela ka?"
(OK. Is that why you two got married?)

K suddenly jumped in, "Ho"
(Yes)

Of course that was not the truth and probably K was looking to solve his confusion and end the topic for the day, but my ocd self couldn't resist, "Nahi re, asa nasta. Tula asa ka vatla?"
(No, its not the reason. Why did you think so?)

Aarav quickly told his theory, "Mag same-same asta mhanun lagna karatat asa mala vatla."
(I thought, if you study the same then you can get married)

"Nahi re asa nasta. Same education nasla tari pan lagna karu shaktat"
(No its not like that. You don't need same education to marry)

"Accha", Aarav looked satisfied for a millisecond and then a new question came up, "Mag tu ka babanshi lagna kelas?"
(OK. Well then, why did you marry dad?)

All this while, K was just loitering around. Being the noble wife that I am, a well placed innuendo to get back at the husband for past, present and future disagreements, should inevitably be delivered at opportune moments such as these, I replied, "Baba far chan hote re tevha."
(Baba used to be very good)

K smirked at me and added this to his list of "get back at the wife" for later.

Aarav was watching this interaction and continued worriedly, "Mag ata nahiet ka chan?", Neither of us expected Aarav to catch it!! All I had changed, was the sentence tense to past. Both K and I burst out laughing and Aarav was even more intrigued!
(So is he not good anymore?)

Smilingly I replied to Aarav, "Atta pan chanach ahet re baba. Mala baba avadle mhanun lagna kela."
(Dad is still just as good dear. I love baba so I married him.)

After watching the beaming smiles that passed between K and I, Aarav passed this as an affirmative acceptable statement, "Accha."
(Ok)

While he was formulating another question I asked, "Pan tu asa ka vichartoys re..?"
(But why are you asking this?)

"Mala mahit nahie na mhanun." Aarav stated his ignorance about matrimonial engagements. Quite amusingly this topic was unexpected and we tried to understand his thought process..
(Because I don't know)

"Tula lagna karaychae ka?" K asked Aarav..
(Do you want to get married?)

"Ho." Aarav very sincerely replied.
(Yes)

"Accha, tula kona barobar lagna karaychae.." continued K..
(OK. So who do you want to marry?)

"Mahit nahi ajun mala."
(I don't know that yet)

"Accha. Tula koni avadta ka?" K asked again.
(So do you like someone?)

Aarav immediately replied, "Nahi kahi. Pan lagna kasa karaychae asta te mala mahitie nahie na mhanun vicharla. Mahitie pahije na asa... Mhanun"
(No no. But I don't know the process to get married so I am asking. I should know this. That's why.)

"Accha." That seemed to be a fair enough reason but we had to give him a disclaimer, "Pan tula lagna karayla khoop vel ahe re ajun. 25 zhala ki allowed asta.. Adhi nahi.."
(OK. But there's still a very long time for you to get married. You need to be at least 25 years of age. Not less.)

"Ho ka?" Aarav was confused again and added a few more questions to confirm if we qualified or violated the minimum age for getting married. "Baba, tu kadhi lagna kelas?" And then, "Aai tu kadhi kelas?"
(Are you sure?
Dad, what age did you marry and Mom you?)

Thankfully both of us passed this age test so Aarav was satisfied, "Accha.."

"He bagh.. Tula jevha lagna cha age hoil na.. Tevha tula amhich sangu ki ata lagna karaychae ok.. Atta allowed nahie tula karan ajun tu chota ahes na." I assured him.
(See. When you are of marrying age we will let you know. For now, you are not allowed to marry as you are a kid.)

Aarav found that a trustable promise, "OK. Chalel."
(OK that'll do)

"OK ata zhopaycha ka?" And I got him in bed and egged him on to sleep. With all his urgent burning curiosity resolved Aarav called it a night, "Good night !!!"
(Shall we sleep now? ~~ Good night!!)

While this was a extremely amusing discussion, now while I am writing this blog, I suddenly feel that he's just a kid.. He's barely 7. Aargh.. Too soon to soon!!! Shouldn't we be discussing this a decade later?
Then again, a few of my siblings just got married and he seemed to be pretty impressed by the wedding festivity.
I guess it is only fair for him to enquire about these things being the only eligible bachelor in the house. ;-)

Happiness is??
Nonstop entertainment with such adorable thoughts!!!!

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Toddler vs Father - I cant see!!!

Aarav slept very late last night. Nothing special, he was just loitering about trying to ward off sleep. By the time we dragged him off to sleep he had bloodshot eyes and a grumpy face.

Obviously he was very sleepy today morning when K tried to wake him up.

K, "Aarav uth are sakali zhalie"
(Aarav get up, it is morning.)

Aarav, "hmmmmm" and tried to crawl under some pillows.

K, "Ooth Aarav!!"
(Wake up Aarav!!)

Aarav whined, "Uthloo" and then added, "Baba mala kahi disat nahie"
Aarav whined, "I'm awake" and then added, "Baba I can't see anything"

That was a scary statement. Our immediate reaction was to turn to look at him as soon as he said that ... And we couldn't help laughing later..

K, "Disat nahie Aarav, tar dole ughad na mag!!"
(Can't see? Open your eyes then Aarav.)

He was busy pretending to be awake with his eyes sealed shut !!

Happiness is?
Hilarious mornings!!

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Story - Face what you must Face.

Face what you must Face
(A beautiful story from Mahabharata)

I am just reminded of a small story, an episode from Mahabharata – where Krishna & Balarama are going to the forest & by then the sun had already set and it grew dark. No huts or resting inns were to be found.

So, it seems Krishna came up with a proposal to Balarama, "I will go to sleep & you keep watching me. Whenever you feel sleepy, you wake me up & I'll keep watching & you can go to sleep".

Krishna went to sleep, Balarama who kept moving to and fro, encountered a monster in the forest who screamed at Balarama. And Balarama who was shaken up by the monster, shrank in size and the monster became bigger than Balarama. 

The monster screamed one more time, Balarama shrank even further and the monster became even bigger.

One last attempt, the Monster screamed at Balarama, unable to take the might of the monster Balarama screamed “Krishna” & he fainted. Hearing the call "Krishna," Krishna woke up. 

Though Balarama had fainted, he mistook Balarama to be sleeping and Krishna started walking to and fro.

So the monster which now saw a new person standing there screamed at him one more time.

And it seems that Krishna instead of being perturbed, stared at the monster and asked: “What do you want ?”

The Courage made Krishna expand and Monster shrink. The monster once again screamed at Krishna, Krishna again asked the Monster “what do you want ?” 

The monster shrank even further. And Krishna expanded even more. One last attempt, Monster screamed at Krishna and Krishna again asked the monster “what do you want?” And the monster shrunk very much in size.

The Epic goes, Krishna took the Monster in his hand, ties the Monster inside the end of his dhoti, by a knot. 

The Sun did rise and Balarama and Krishna began to walk. And as they were walking, Balarama said – "Did you know what happened last night. A monster came and it was threatening us so much.”

Krishna gently took the monster out of his Dhoti and showed it to Balarama and asked – “Are you talking about this?” 

Immediately Balarama exclaims 'but when I saw it, it was so big but now it has become so small'.

And the Veda Vyasa through the voice of Krishna says – When you avoid what you must face in life, it becomes bigger than you and takes control over you.

_The monster here is all the challenges we face in life. If you keep avoiding what you must face, these challenges become monstrous and take control over you._

_When you face what you must face, you become bigger than it and you take control over it._

Always remember, challenges are been given to you for a purpose - for you to become what you can become.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Phonetics and English Reading

In the last year, Aarav's English reading and questions about English's quirks have increased exponentially. We started a teaching class to teach him phonetics. While it was a good start, the class and teacher's time doesn't seem enough as the benefit we need is not seen.

So.. I started studying phonetics to be able to teach him myself. Amazingly, I have just realised that my father taught me the very same phonetics when I started reading years back!! I just didn't know it, so it makes a lot of sense. Apparently I have a lot more experience with phonology and phonetics that I knew of.

Let's see when I can bring that knowledge into fruition. I have been researching for a year now and there is a lot I have to polish up on before I take matters into my hands completely.

More on this soon...

Happiness is?
My 6 year old is helping me educate myself. Down to the basics!!!  <3

Toddler vs Father - Mean little moron..


Aarav is rather particular about what he wears especially to parties and all.. He loves to shop and choose his own wardrobe. He also makes his comments and opinions on our wardrobe as well, which sometimes are scary or hilarious or downright mean! But we created a talkative little monster always encourage him to speak his mind.. so that's that.

On this one day, Aarav and Kaustubh were to go to Kaustubh's office for a 'Kids day party'.

So on a full shirt formal attire, Aarav chose a rowdy Ferrari sleeveless jacket that screamed 'fashion disaster'. That was still ok, but it was also splattered with remnants of an old meal all over his chest.
Being good parents, we had to warn him...

So just before they left...

Kaustubh was ready in his new shirt that has a splatter of tiny droplet shapes across the chest, said to Aarav, "Aarav tuzha red jerkin var thode daag ahet. Tula to red jerkin ghatlas tar loka shee mhantil"
(Aarav, your red jerkin has spots of food spilled. If you wear that people will say 'eww')

Aarav stared right back and exclaimed rather meanly smugly confidently, "Nahi mhannar. Tuzha shirt asa vattoy ki koni tari ulti kelie. Mag mazha shirt disnar nahi"
(No. No one will say that. Your shirt looks as if you puked all over it. No one will even notice mine)

And then he walked off leaving Kaustubh stunned and me guffawing into a pillow!! The little guy sure knows how to be a little hilarious moron!!

The need for a pause/mute button.

P.s. - I'm still laughing !!!! 




Wednesday, 1 February 2017

English marathon!!

Last year, Aarav was preparing for a Grade 1 level English marathon exam. Studies were going quite well but I knew that we would need an aggressive revision before the exam.


Aarav, however fell in school and broke his right hand 3 days before the exam. He is right handed and needed to write for the exam, I had pretty much let it go..

We spent two days in the hospital.. Two days at home acclimating with the plaster life.. That was the 9th,10th,11th and 12th.

The exam was on the 12th in the afternoon. Now with all that was going on I did not expect him to be at all interested in the exam, but he was!

So, I spoke to the institute of they could get a writer.. After getting the writer we gave the exam and forgot all about it.

It did not even excite us when the results were out. I did not expect him to even pass, let alone get good marks at all. 

Yesterday, we got the mark sheet and certificates, Aarav scored a good 74% in the exam. That's a distinction!!

Aarav is full of surprises and his will power and drive is inspiring!!



Get up, dust it off and power on!! No matter what.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Toddler Vs Mother - Prove why your English is better

Aarav and I now try to talk in English. While I am quite fluent, Aarav isn't as much yet. But where he lacks in fluency, he sure makes up in adamancy and Foxiness. :+)

Today's dinner discussion.

Me, "Why are you eating so slowly. You need to finish it ok?"

Aarav, "I not eat slowly. I eat Fastly. You not disturb me."

"You should say "Don't disturb me" and there's no such word as 'fastly' ok?" And then I tried to explain the how comparatives and superlatives work.

Of course, Aarav was in no mood to be corrected or pushed on to eat faster in any way... "No. Slowly correct. So Fastly also correct." And then he rubbed it in "Don't disturb me"

Grumble grumble. At such times, my OCD self is quite conflicted. It's extremely difficult to decide between pursuing an argument or sticking to the original plan of making him eat as I very well know that he's just deflecting it by talking smart.
Tiny little smartass.
"Dude, eat fast and let's not talk now".

Happiness is?
Aargh. Frustratingly hilarious conversations that don't always tip in my favor.




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